February 2012
6 posts
January 2012
50 posts
“I mean, he sounds like a fucking legless cow-kicked farm secret.”
– Tamalehawk, on a co-worker’s typos. I really can’t describe what this did to me upon reading it. A legless. Cow-kicked. FARM SECRET. Dead.
best night
My husband and I danced to Rocket Man and I remembered when it felt like my brother and I had a secret language. Cupcakes and red wine and Raylan Givens. And then later my husband burped and said it was like eating dinner all over again, or a second dinner. Perfection.
My BFF, Subconscious Fartface
I had a dream the press I sent the new collection to accepted it. That clearly means the opposite will occur, right?
She never spoke another word, I only beat her... →
I drew my saber through her / It was a bloody... →
Woman's dog saves her from being beaten to death... →
I don’t have time for people who don’t understand the magic of dogs. Click here if you want to donate to the pet shelter!
WatchSometimes I wish I could write this kind of innocence and humor. It’s magical, really. BUT THEN WHO WOULD WRITE ABOUT A HILLBILLY’S MANY DISAPPOINTMENTS?
“Everyone had an opinion, from fans to sports writers to radio hosts. Sports...”
– from salon.com’s “What if Tim Tebow were Muslim?”
sometimes...
…when your husband emails you “Listening to our wedding song thinking about my wife,” and then moments later what you think is going to be an explosive, jazzy, reputation-ruiner of a fart ends up being nothing more than a muted, refreshing sigh that no one heard, you realize today is something pretty special.
I Heart Romney-abees
This article reminds me of how Jude Law’s character in I Heart Huckabees avoids all self-awareness until it’s too late, and he’s shown how many times he tells the Shania Twain chicken salad story, and he completely cracks.
Here’s hoping!
“The total amount paid was $5.00. Truly, your generosity knows no bounds.”
– from the emailed receipt for purchasing Louis CK: Live at the Beacon as a Christmas present for my father.
Failed Story Attempts
Girl, Valerie, believes Steve Winwood is her father
Middle-aged woman takes a roommate
Man’s wife hit by car, dies, shrine is erected
Man deals with feral wife
Girl does drugs in acquaintance’s basement
Woman thinks about her life
Boy and girl in complicated relationship take a drive
I still feel wistful about all of these.
“Like maybe it wasn’t him. But they are twins. Like Uncle Melba Toast or...”
– Jac Jemc, on meeting a man who looked like Uncle Kracker.
